I Will Make Better Mistakes Tomorrow

This is my very first blog post. Like many I am bad at telling others about my feelings, this is my way of becoming a better person. 

I've never been a very confidant person, people tell me that I'm pretty all the time but I don't know why it really has never stuck with me.. I started modeling to boost my self esteem a little. It works sometime but then I look at other girls who are so much prettier and more confidant and the little self esteem I did have...goes away. What's funny is that my group of friends say that I'm the most confidant and outgoing person they know, I guess after all these years, I've gotten really good at faking it.

You know when something happens and hours later you think of different scenarios in your head and act them out by yourself? My life is filled with those. Something always happens that I wish I could of tweaked a little so I would feel better about myself in the end. In my scenarios I always add little things that people would say when they talk about me when I'm not around, like "Well obviously she's pretty she's a model," or "I've always thought she was really gorgeous" just those little small things. When I finish my little "stories" I want to start them over to make them better. Sometimes it make me feel crazy that I'm constantly doing this when I'm by myself other times I think I could be amazing at writing plays or movies. All in all this little fact leads to my personality flaw..

Sometimes I forget those scenarios aren't real

and I tell my friends about them

like they really happened.

It's not something that I intentionally do. It really feels like I just forget sometimes. I don't catch that I have messed up until it's almost too late... but most of the time I just hope that it just fades away into conversation and never brought up again. It's a flaw that I truly have to work on, but it's a flaw that is going to take a lot of time to fix because I do it so naturally.

All princesses make mistakes, but as one we have to make efforts to fix those mistakes. That is what I hope this blog helps me do. I want to be the very best version of myself and I know I can do that. I may not be lavish and live in a castle but I am a princess. I am a normal american princess.

XOXO

P.

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. 

I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. 

But if you can't handle me at my worst, 

then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” 

― Marilyn Monroe