Do I honestly think when I go to North Carolina he's going to propose? No, not at all. It's a total unrealistic pipe dream but its a dream of mine. Like I said in a previous post, when I think about my future it's always with him.... so why not get a head start on the planning? There are the obvious reason...Like I don't want to seem like a crazed girl obsessed with getting married or that I'm just crazy .... period. I wouldn't want to get married this soon anyways...I mean, I'm only 20. I would love to be engaged though, for long time. Like getting engaged during the summer then married two years later. Just enough time to make sure it's the right choice but not too long that it seems like we're going to be engaged forever, giving me plenty of time to plan and save up for my dream wedding (okay yes I have a little box under my bed labeled "dream wedding fund" and yes donations are welcomed) and most of all for us to feel out what married life would be like for the two of us.
When I get married I want it be the love of my life. The guy I can grow old and die with, with tombstones right next to each other on the top of the hill under a tree. I want forever. I don't want to get married multiple times, marriage isn't a test drive, you don't get into different ones until you find the right fit, that's what dating is for! I want to get married once and only once so I don't feel bad for spending a tremendous amount of money on my special day. I don't want "My wedding day.....take two" that's not cute! I'm happy for all those people who found the love of their lives on the second or third try but I don't want that for my life. I want my love to be epic, I want my love to be that kind of love that people look at you and say "wow I can't believe after all these years they're still together" I want love everlasting. I want that feeling of falling in love with my spouse all over again everyday for the rest of my life. Why is that so hard nowadays?
Okay, So really I think I'm going to start a series of my dreams so you all can really understand what's going on and why I'm reacting the way I am. Like I said these dreams are so unbelievably real and for some reason I remember every single detail of them....which doesn't usually happen. It's crazy...and I want to share them with you. So starting tomorrow I'm going to 1. type out the last 4 days of dreams so you can get some background and 2. type out every single one of my dreams when I wake up. I think this will be fun...and maybe if I can actually see some of your feed backs of them....so I can feel...well....less crazy!
I'm super excited!
XOXO
P.
"Cherish your visions and your dreams as they are the children of your soul, the blueprints of your ultimate achievements."
Napoleon Hill
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